Drinkin' Series
by prlrocks
Summary: Four Part series dealing with Jayne, River and drinkin'. Starts with friendship and goes into a romance.
1. Drinkin' Ain't Just Drinkin'

**Title:** A Drink Ain't Just A Drink  
**Rating:** PG-13ish for drinking?  
**Words:** 1760  
**Beta:** **ru_salki99**  
**Disclaimer:** All belongs to the mighty Joss  
**Summary: **Jayne's taken part in many drinking customs, but this new one might be his favorite. Jayne/River as romance or friendship. Up to the reader. Written for **wandersfound** for the **whedonland** fic-fest on LJ

* * *

Every planet had their own ways of doing things and with drinkin' it was no different. Some drank nothin' but the most expensive wines and brandies. Jayne honestly didn't get the appeal of that. You laid down good coin and didn't even get wasted properly for it. Others drank moonshine brewed in their own tubs. Good stuff for a buzz and cheap too, but even he knew that you touch the wrong stuff and it could blind ya or worse. Still, others drank stuff that tasted like sweets. Kaylee loved the stuff. Jayne though was suspicious of it. What kind of alcohol was fruit flavored? Too sweet with not enough burn. That is what he thought. There had to be a catch.

Jayne liked the towns where whiskey was what slicked your throat. Those people tended to be like the ones back home. Those sort he could understand.

And the reasons people drank differed too. Some drank to their health and some drank to drink. Hell, on some planets, it was only the real religious folk could touch the stuff. He figured he'd be a real holy man on one of those planets… well, as long as sexin' was still allowed.

Yeah, Jayne liked a good drink as much as the next fella. Hell, maybe more then the next fella, but he never quite viewed getting drunk the same way, since one River Tam showed up.

He supposed it all started on that one measly planet, the one where the girl went to have a few and ended up in a cell with some local drunks and Mal, who couldn't keep his trap shut. It turned out that on that planet, you couldn't drink a drop, until you were of the magical age of twenty one. He didn't know what the fuss was about. He had been drinkin' whiskey, since he was in nappies and it never did him no harm.

But the local authority made a stink and it ended with Zoe and him having to bail the Captain and the girl out of the local lockup.

"_Renci de Fouzu!_" Mal said the moment the door swung open and they got out. "Never again"

"Surely, it wasn't _that_ bad," Zoe laughed as they walked towards the ship.

"Not _that _bad? Not _that _bad?" He turned to River, his eyes wide. "She said is wasn't _that_ bad."

River cringed slightly, but calmly explained, "It is traditional for inmates to excrete about their cell and cause ciaos for the lawmen, until they gain freedom or pass out."

Jayne grinned. "Whatcha two do?"

"Neither! I was too busy shielding the girl's eyes, not to mention my own." Mal rubbed his face like he was remembering somethin' plain awful.

Jayne smirked. "Sound all like good fun to me! Well, minus the crappin' and pissin' that is."

Mal stopped, shook his head and pointed at River. "You ain't touchin' a drop, until your legal on every planet in this verse and the next. Understand?"

"But it's not fair," River complained much to their surprise.

"We ain't saying it's fair," Zoe added, attempting to soothe the girl, "It's just the way it is."

River pouted, crossing her arms across her chest and kickin' at stones as they continued to walk towards Serenity.

After a minute if her muttering nasty things about 'the mean Captain, who'd keep her prisoner on his ship', Mal finally turned to her in a huff, "Tell you what, River. You'll get the honor of being our designated flyer. Then they'll be no complainin' 'bout being tied to the steering wheel or any other part of my ship. _Dong ma?"_

"And what would be required of me to be this designated flyer?"

"Not much. Just keep an eye open, keep us out of trouble and drag us back to the ship when we've had our fill."

"The elders act as children and the youngest holds the burden of parenthood?"

"That isn't what I meant."

"But it is!"

"No, I just meant…" Mal, who seemed to be at lose of words, just sighed, "It's simpler this way. Ain't fair, just simpler and as long as you're on my ship, it's the way it goes."

River pulled a face, but kept walkin'.

"If it's to your preference, you can just stay aboard Serenity, with the rest, while we enjoy our outings," Mal snapped, clearly havin' enough.

"No," River frowned. "I shall be the adult."

And she was. She was the best Goddamned designated flyer in the verse. That had been a little over two years ago. Since then, she'd sit there, as they all got pleasantly sloshed and dragged their carcasses home whenever they were three sheets to the wind. Was all sorts of handy.

He even told her that one day. Of course, he was drunk at the time.

"You went and made yourself all useful. I sort of like ya now."

She had just rolled her eyes at him. Girl couldn't take a compliment.

In fact, he got so used to it that when the day came and she ordered a drink, it near knocked him on his ass with shock.

"Ah, whatcha doin' girl?" he had let out loudly. "Ya'll get us kicked out and there ain;t no other good watering holes around this place. Besides, you don't want to end up in lock up, do ya?"

She had smiled at him. "I'm of age today. Conditions have been met. I may consume fermented fruit and bread as much as I please, now."

"Ain't that right?" Mal broke in. "Barkeep, you get my pilot, here, whatever she wants," He slapped a coin down. Jayne figured that'd it get her a drink or two.

"And one on me as well," Zoe said following her Captain's actions, "Happy Birthday, River."

"Thank you," she said clearly pleased.

"She's not flying you anywhere tonight, is she?" the bartender asked Mal, worried.

"No sir. Only place we're goin' is to our bunks. After we drink some more of your fine offerings, of course."

Turning to River, the bartender waited for her to order. She didn't seem to notice.

"So what ya gonna have?" Jayne asked, givin' the girl a hint, "Some of that fancy wine your brother is so find of?"

River seemed to think about it, "No. Whiskey."

The bartender grabbed a bottle of the stuff and went to pour it, when River stopped him with the touch of her hand.

"How much for all of it?"

Eyeing her and her coin wearily, he slowly spoke, "About double what you got there, plus a coin or two more."

River calmly went into her pocket and pulled out the suitable amount.

The bartender shrugged, took the money and shoved the bottle at the girl. When she smiled at him in reaction, he sighed and pushed one coin back at her, "For your pretty smile," he said simply, before walkin' away.

Jayne leaned towards her and whispered, "Sure, you want to be doin' that? Wastin' your money. Why don't you get one of those drinks Kaylee likes?"

"This is suitable," she said, caressing the bottle with the tips of her fingers.

"All right," he said, throwing his hands up, "But don't go making a fuss when you're bein' sick all over."

He downed what was left of his own drink and got ready to join Mal, Zoe and their bottle of spirits, at the table.

River reached over the counter and grabbed another glass, placin' it next to the other. Opening the bottle, she poured some of the liquid into the glass and pushed it towards him.

"What's this?"

"Your next drink."

"I can buy my own. Don't need some girl doin' it for me.

"Next bottle is on you," she said simply.

Jayne shrugged. He could easily go through this bottle and some of the next, by himself. Jayne picked up his glass and clanked it against her own. Tippin' it back, he swallowed it all, in one gulp. River did the same, though unlike him, her eyes went wide, and she coughed. After she blinked a few times, she licked her lips and pushed her glass toward him for another fill.

Jayne laughed and nodded his head. In approval, "Well, you either got what it takes… or you're bein' moon brained again. Either way, this should be fun," Jayne poured himself and the girl another. This time they took it good and slow. Some talk was had, but mostly they kept quiet. Jayne realised, it actually wasn't that bad.

A while and two bottles later, Mal finally came up, "What happened to you two?"

"Been here."

"River," Mal said, shaking her arm, though her head was down on the bar, "Time to take us home."

Jayne gazed drunkenly at the passed out River, "Think we'll be takin' her home tonight, Mal."

Mal studied her a moment, finally realizing' she was drunk, "Suppose you're right."

As Jayne went to scoop the girl up, she woke.

"Whacha doing?" she slurred, pushing him away, "I can walk."

"Fine then walk," Jayne mumbled, as he attempted to do that himself. He was only half successful.

As she got up, she stumbled a bit. Jayne went to steady her, but she waved him off. It was only after a few more wobbly steps that she changed her mind, "Maybe I do need your assistance."

That was fine. Jayne needed hers a bit, as well. As they walked back to the ship, they leaned against the other and helped the other along. Jayne supposed they made a funny pair, but neither paid that no mind. They took it slow and got to where they were goin.'

It was when it was all over and with a smile that Jayne realized that he kind of liked it better this way, River takin' part and not just sittin' by. Sure, drinkin' would never be the same again, but that was fine by him. For once, he was all about new ways of drinkin."

Translations:  
_Renci de Fouzu_- merciful buddha  
_Dong Ma_- Understand?


	2. And Dancin' Ain't Just Dancin'

**Title:** And Dancin' Ain't Just Dancin'  
**Series:** The Drinkin' Series  
**Rating:** PG  
**Words:** 1525  
**Beta:** **ru_salki99**  
**Disclaimer:** Joss owns all  
**Summary: **Sequel to A Drink Ain't Just A Drink; Jayne and River go to a trendy club and Jayne finds something he wish he hadn't. Written for **lar_laughs** for the **whedonland** fic-fest

* * *

This night, they were on one of those fancy core planets. They didn't have to skirt them like they use to, but Jayne still didn't like them none all the same. Here, everythin' came at a price or more exactly one was robbed blind. Anywhere you went, coin fell out of your pocket and into the hands of some sleazy scoundrel or some fancy businessman and there weren't nothin' you could do about it, other then not leave the ship.

Not to mention the cost on their pride. His sort wasn't welcome here, no matter how many travellers, like him hit the dirt. And since Miranda, it had been worse. He was a traveler, who's face was now well known and these sorts didn't care much for what him and the crew had done. Most didn't want their notions played with, even if they were miss notions, and his crew had upset them notions in the worst of ways.

Yeah, it was best to be off the second the deal was done and to not look back, but that wasn't always the way. This time, they were set to stay the night. Jayne settled on a night in, one where he could get a bottle and head down to his bunk to take care of his girls. A night of drinkin' and cleanin' his guns was always his idea a good time. Zoe and River, though, got their minds set on a night out, as did the Doc and Kaylee. What changed things up though, was that River also got her mind set on dragging him along.

"The Captain is sufficient guard for Serenity.. You will come along to guard us."

"You and Zoe, don't need no guardin' and Kaylee and the Doc are set for a night of sexin'. Don't think they'd want me to join in."

"Certainly not," Simon butted in, as he passed by.

Jayne sneered, but remained quiet.

"Not for what he paid for our room," Kaylee added laughin', "Should be romantic," With the bow on her head, they left the ship.

River smiled and added patiently, "Normally correct, but on the core that is different."

Jayne sighed, knowing there was some truth to that... 'Bout her and Zoe, not her brother and Kaylee. "Alright. I'll tag along. But I won't like it."

So that was how he ended up at the trendy dance club made for Core brats and people tryin' to get laid. Here everythin' was new and shiny, from the tables to the dress people wore. His appearance got many of eyebrow raise, but Jayne just scowled and set the snots on their way. There was no reason a man had to put his fancy clothes on for just a drink. Besides, much to his displeasure, he'd paid the cover to get in like the next person had.

Much to his surprise, Zoe was out on the dance floor. This music, wild and frantic, was to her liking, it seemed. He hadn't seen her take part in somethin' like this since her Wash days. It was only moments like that, he ever got them as a couple. Zoe for all her seriousness, had a side that just wanted to get lost in fun and pleasure.

River had gotten lost in the mass of people somewhere along the night's way. He kept a look out, but it was only from time to time that he'd see her swishin' on by. He paid that no mind, though. The girl was scarier then him, by half… Besides, he'd be there if she needed him.

So he sat and drank overpriced beer. That is, until River popped up came up, all sweaty and smiling.

"Join me," she demanded, her hands stretched out.

"No," Jayne shook his head, thinkin' the girl had lost her mind.

She slipped between him and the bar, forcing his attention on her, "Come, ask me to dance."

"Ain't you doin' this, askin _me_ to dance?"

River rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand. As she pulled him off his barstool, he quickly gulped down the rest of his beer and shoved the glass at someone passin' by. He wasn't wastin' a drop given how much that cost.

River dragged him straight into the crowd, like there was some special spot on the dance floor she just had to find. When they reached it, they stood there a moment starin' at one 'nother. With the music poundin' 'bout him, he felt like a fool just standin' there, but as River started to dance, Jayne gave it his best shot.

River smiled, "Follow the beat. Pretend it is like the dance of gunfire and sex."

"Wha ya know bout sex, girl?"

Jayne didn't have a clue what that really meant, but started movin' to the aggressive beat. Aggressive …and, he found, God darn near sensual. River swirled around him, into it, far more then he could ever be. She was the whipping of hair, the touching of hands and eyes so wide, that even he had to smile. She was beautiful… and sexy. That is when River's words came clear in his mind._ Like the dance of gunfire and sexin'._ As she rubbed against him in a wrong and pleasant fashion, Jayne's heart pounded and he found his hands wantin' to grab on and gettin' closer some more.

That was when the song stopped. Jayne stumbled back a moment, lookin' at the girl in shock.

"You are tired and thirsty," she said simply, "Let's go to the bar and correct that."

She grabbed his hands and pulled him back through the crowd. When they reached the bar, Zoe was there. She was smilin' and archin' an eyebrow at River. River smiled back and placed an order. Jayne slid back into his seat and breathed deep, as he still hadn't caught his breath.

"We'll all have what they are having," River told the bartender, pointing at a group of younglings a table over. The bartender mixed it up good and fast and had it in front of them within the blink of an eye. After they paid, he went on to the next group.

Still, Jayne sulked. He wasn't wantin' ones of those drinks. A Kaylee drink as he called it. As if reading his mind, River told him, "Do as the native does. This is the place one drinks these, not whiskey or beer."

Jayne grimaced as he took a sip of the sweet stuff. They drank a while and on the next order Jayne got himself another beer. Once that had happened, he was far more happy. Zoe disappeared onto the dance floor again. She had taken a shine to one of the fellas. And River? River and him talked some, but Jayne's mind kept wanderin' back to what had happened on the dance floor and much of it what she said was lost on him. As her lips moved, he focused on pleasantly bad things, things that if he admitted to them, would get him shot on the ship.

It was only when he had made the mistake of brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes, that he snapped back into himself. Old cranky Jayne, who wasn't bout to go sexin' up the Doc's sis.

Soon after, River was wantin' to dance 'gain.

"Come on," she said, sliding out of her seat, "Let's dance."

Jayne didn't want to… but at the same time, he did. Somethin''bout being out there with the girl was more plain intoxicatin' then any stuff found at the bar. Which is why he knew he shouldn't do it and just why he did.

They danced and danced some more. It was a blur of excitement and Jayne was pretty certain he had done and said things he shouldn't, but River gave him as good as she got and by nights end, he was callin' her 'his little tease'.

When the night was near over, all of a sudden, the lights dimmed. Jayne wondered if that was how they did last call, on this planet. Odd way, he thought, but he had seen odder. Still, the flashin'and chaos was now gone and all went quiet in a whoosh. Suddenly, a slow song come on.

Jayne glanced up at the ceiling, in wonder, and shifted in discomfort. After a full night of near poundin' they got this? Jayne went to retreat, but that was before River grabbed his hands.

"Stay," she said.

And he did. With his heart racin' more then it had all night, he stared and moved with the girl. It was gentle and soft and he liked it. Made him feel funny, made him feel like he was gonna break. Lookin' at her, he bit his lip, knowin' this was wrong. He knew that he had found somethin' and that somethin', wasn't meant to be brought out into the light.

As River placed her head against his chest, he thought it was a good thing, then, that they were dancin' in the dark.


	3. But Sometimes, Somethings Are As Plain

**Title:** But Sometimes, Somethings Are As Plain As Day  
**Series:** The Drinkin' Series  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Words:** 1170  
**Beta:** **ru_salki99**, who has been beyond wonderful doing this for me.  
**Disclaimer:** Joss owns all

**Summary: **Third part in the Drinkin' Series; Jayne and River get stranded over right and share more then a drink; Written for **willow_reece** for the **whedonland** fic-fest

* * *

It had been nearly three years since River ended up in jail over havin' a drink on the wrong planet and it had been one year, since River and Jayne had become drinkin' companions. During that time, things had changed.

New experiences had turned into tradition and tradition now had it that whenever they touched landside for a while, the bunch of them would go off for drinks. Him and River always shared a bottle or two of somethin', usually whiskey, but sometimes it had been other spirits that had wet their lips. They'd talk or not, as the mood hit them, but the one solid thing between them was that they were always companions.

These days there was no denying that he wanted River and wanted her bad. The night at the club had made that certain. He wanted her, but knew he shouldn't have her. Besides, she seemed fine with what they already had, a strange though somehow fiercely strong friendship. Jayne couldn't say he had another like it in his life.

So when that night in the snowy town hit, Jayne was given one hell of a surprise.

The two had gone quick to town for some supplies. Serenity was due to take off that night, but Mal insisted and sent them off and they got what they needed no problem. Problem was that when they got in the mule, she wouldn't start.

"_Ta shi suoyou diyu de biaozi de ma!"_ he growled, gettin' out of the mule and kickin' her. "No Kaylee round when you need her," Jayne stared at the transport feelin' near damn helpless. Fixin' things had never been his somethin' he took to. He looked at on the snowy horizon. The ship was no where in sight, "Can we walk it?" They'd have to leave the supplies behind and chance losin' them, but least the crew wouldn't think they up and got killed.

"No," River calmly said, climbing out off the broken piece of crap as well, "We should rent a room for the night and bring as much with us as possible."

"Fine, but Mal's payin' me back. Ain't my fault this _sch _broke down," He glared at it again, like he was tellin' it off.

River grabbed his arm and started guidin' him towards the local inn. Jayne smiled at how sensible she was bein' when all he wanted to do was stand there and do some more complain'.

"We'll share a room to save money," she told him.

Jayne gapped, but consented with the nod of his head. He was a grown man and against the opinion of some of his crew, could control himself. If he wanted to. He had spent many nights alone with River 'board Serenity and out on the town drunk. Another wouldn't hurt.

They got a smallish cozy room with big old windows looking at on the cold outside, a fireplace that was already roarin'… and one bed. Jayne near felt that someone was laughin' at him, in that moment.

He sat in a worn out chair, kicked off his boots and glanced out the window. He figured this would do for the night. It was warm and comfy, even if everythin', in the place, had seen better days.

"Bed is yours," he told her.

River sat down on the floor in front of him. She ran her hands over the colorful cloth passin' as a rug she was sittin' on and gazed around the room, like she was in some fancy palace. Then with a content sigh and took her own boots off. They sat there a moment, listenin' to the fire, before she leaned over and reached towards their stuff. Goin' into one of the bags, she grabbed a bottle. It was the wine that had been on Simon's list.

Opening it, she leaned her head back and took a swig.

"Your brother is goin' kill ya. Not only for drinkin' it, but drinkin' it like _that._"

Glancing up at him, she got up and fetched two glasses.

"As tempted I am to annoy _ge ge_, though he does not know it, I think we would prefer us indulging out of these."

She looked at the glasses with a frown. Weren't as clean as she would have them, it seemed, since she picked up a piece of her clothin' and wiped the insides out. She then placed them down and poured some wine into them. Handin' him one, she said with a smile, "There."

Jayne took a sip and tilted his head in agreement. Given that it was somethin' the Doc drank, it wasn't half bad. In fact, it would do fine and well.

They sat there, sippin' at their drinks, all quiet like. When they finished, River grabbed his glass and poured them another. Popping up on her knees she handed him the glass back. Stead of sittin' back down though, she started runnin' her hands over his legs.

"Whatcha doin?" he asked in confused surprise.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Leavin' no doubt, she slid her hand up his inner thigh, till it grazed against his crotch.

He grabbed her hands and looked he in the eyes, searchin'.

"I'm not drunk, Jayne. You know me drunk and this isn't it."

"What's this then?" he demanded.

Her mouth twitched, holdin' back a smile. "Oh, this is a River is wantin' to get sexed thing," She laughed.

Jayne sat there, not belivin' her words.

"You alright?"

"Fine, fine… but not fine. River, girl," he said, sadly, "You don't want me like that trust me."

"Why not?"

"You're my age by half. That's why. Besides, I've been around a few times and you ain't even broken in."

"But we both want this."

"Wantin' ain't havin."

She arched an eyebrow, "You can have me."

Jayne scrunched his face up, not sure how what to say to that.

"Jayne, _please."_

His heart 'bout burst, "Ya sure?"

She nodded, "I've been waiting. I thought it would happen after the night at the club, but it didn't."

"You felt that too?"

"Been feeling it longer," When he didn't say anything, she added another, "Please?"

"Alright. Alright, don't get your knickers in a twist."

They both laughed, gazin at the other and smilin'. River pressed herself against him and he wrapped his arms around her. It felt right.

Leanin' in, he kissed her softly. _Very right. _

Once 'gain, tonight was goin' to change everything, but with River he found, that was always okay.

Translations:

T_a shi suoyou diyu de biaozi de ma!- _Whores in Hell  
_Sch- _shit  
_ge ge_- Older Brother


	4. This Leads You To The End of Your Days

**Title:** And This Leads You To The End of Your Days  
**Series:** The Drinkin' Series  
**Rating:** PG  
**Words:** 674  
**Beta:** None  
**Disclaimer:** Joss owns all  
**Summary: **Last part in the Drinkin' Series; Jayne and River take the next step in their life; SAPPY; Written for **inanna1130** for the **whedonland** fic-fest

* * *

One night, they were layin' together in his bunk, his arm wrapped protectively around her. It was something they had done a hundred times, if not more, but tonight was going to be different.

Turning her head slightly towards him, River whispered, "Jayne, let's get married."

Jayne paused a moment, before letting out a simple, "Okay."

He kissed her temple and that was that. It was decided.

Time drifted on by and not much was said on the matter. That was, until the day they landed on that piece of dirt. As he gazed about the landscape, he knew he'd always remember this place. It wasn't that it was in any way special. It wasn't. Prairie land was what they called this. They had been on many a planet just like this one. The only difference was this was the place they'd promise their life's to one another.

That day Jayne made sure to put on his best clothing, black slacks and a button up shirt. Wasn't much, but it would do. River, though, was a vision as she walked off that ship. She wore a pale peach dress that flowed in the breeze and her hair was loose, just how he liked it. She had a gentle smile on her face and her eyes were abazin.' As she met him on the ground, he took her hand, feelin' awe. With a simple gaze back at the rest of the crew, they all started walkin' to the church.

The ceremony was simple. It was why they picked this place above the rest. With a few spoken promises and a kiss they were married. As they lips parted and he looked into her eyes he swore there had never been nothin' more beautiful in his life.

The celebration was found in a simple restaurant that served good hot homemade food and cold drinks. The two of them were plenty happy with it, but River's brother though felt something was lackin'.

"You're not who I would have picked for my sister," he told him, "but now that you have her…" He shrugged and popped up a bottle of clear stuff that he had brought with him. Walkin' around he table, he filled each of their glasses, before takin' up his own. "To River and Jayne,' he nodded at them. "May their happiness last their whole lifetime through."

The rest raised their glasses and echoed his words. Once they were done, they took a sip of their drink.

Jayne acknowledged how much it took the jerk to say that and did the same. He scowled, resisting the temptation to spit. "This is awful!" He looked into his glass wonderin' what in the verse it was.

Simon shook his head and laughed. "Better finish it. It's bad luck on your marriage if you don't."

Jayne looked at River, who nodded her head and then with a quick glare at Simon's loathsome face, he drank the rest. River laughed with glee and grabbed his face kissin' him.

"My brave man," she giggled, kissin' him some more.

Jayne's lip quirked up in half smile. He thought he'd drink a whole bottle of the stuff if it made her happy. That wasn't needed though. After that, they got back to the good food and later, some cake.

When they were through, Jayne took River's hand and started towards the ship.

"You sure you don't want to spend the night in some fancy place? Sure they got somethin' half decent here."

"No," she shook her head, squeezin' his hand tighter. She looked up and him, then at Serenity. "I want our first night bonded to be where we'll live our life."

Jayne looked at the old ship, seein' it for the first time, as River did. His life, her life, their life. There. Forever.

His lip trembled and his heart near burst at the thought.

"Jayne," she whispered with some worry in voice. "You alright?"

Yeah," he said, gazing at her a moment, before givin' her a sweet kiss. "Let's go home."


End file.
